I share with you all a snippet of my faith journey this past couple of weeks. I have been seeking the Lord to lead me to a book of the Bible to study next. Regarding my Bible reading plan for the year, it consists of both structure and a lack of it too. And by that I mean, I am unstructured when it comes to having the whole year of my bible reading plan sorted as I keep myself open to the Lord’s leading with where in the bible He takes me to next. But once I know which book or topic, I am structured in following through. I have tried different ways and found this one the best approach for me personally.
Back to me seeking my stop in the word for now. I did not sense a firm ‘yes’ from God yet. So, I thought maybe with my newfound novice skill of doing digital versions of verse breakdowns (See previous post), maybe I can focus on that for a bit while I wait to know. I looked at verses and felt a certain lack of the Spirit whispering things in my heart.
In the midst of all of that, I spent a lot of time wondering why I was yet to receive an affirmative response from God. I soon realised that the Lord was in no way quiet, it was me who was seeking to hear what I thought I should and so felt the quiet.
The Lord is good and was nudging me to take notice of what He was pointing out. As I was trying to figure my next study plan, or looked at verses to breakdown, my lens through all of this was focused mainly on how to translate what I am studying into writing/ a post. And therein lay the issue.
We are called to go and make disciples, but a Christian is first and foremost a disciple themselves.
I was drawn to Mark 3:13-15 “Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him. He appointed twelve – designating them apostles, that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach and to have authority to drive out demons.”
These verses talk about Jesus appointing the twelve apostles and we read the purpose behind their call. We can often skim over these verses and the part that stays with us is, Jesus choosing, appointing the twelve apostles so that they would go preach and heal. But what is the first thing they were to do before going out and carrying out the ministry they were purposed to, they were to “Be with Him”.
Be with Him – reading this convicted me of the sincerity and intention behind me seeking Jesus’s leading. I was seeking to study the word, yes. I was seeking to share the word, yes. But I rushed through sitting at His feet and just soaking up His words to fill my soul with the joy that comes from spending time with Him.
I was reminded of the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10). I was letting the Martha side of me drive me, and in doing so removed myself from being at the feet of Jesus. I was flitting in and around the vicinity of Jesus with my own agenda, expecting to hear from Him, but I was not close enough and still enough to just be with God. Those times seemed on the surface as time with God, but the intention was lacking. And God knows our hearts. He desires for us to seek Him first and foremost.
So, I ask each of us these questions – Are we allowing anything to cloud the reason we pick up scripture?
Are we reading scripture with the intention to rejoice in the word, to hear from God and just be at His feet or is it something else?
As Jesus said in Luke 10: 41-42 “Martha, Martha, you are worried about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her.”
There is only one thing that is needed and that is to sit at His feet consistently and continuously with a pure desire in just seeking after Him. And as Jesus said it will not be taken from Mary, let not the desire to share/write/post be the reason we study scripture. Let not any other benchmark of doing, dictate the reason for spending time in the word.
From the time I started blogging, on and off I have felt the pull of focusing on scripture from the point of view of what I could write. I have always been aware of it but this time, it made me reflect deeper.
The enemy will try and twist that which can be for good by subtly distorting those very intentions within our hearts. Because if he cannot entirely prevent us from sharing God’s word, he will try to make our tools as dull as possible. It is up to us to be discerning of our own intentions. The desire to study the word and share it is noble, but can we be effective instruments of God if we are not sitting at His feet, letting ourselves be diligent disciples of Him.
Dear friends, if you love sharing scripture verses or writing at length, reflect on the connection between your head and your heart. Your mind may seem to be depending on God to lead you to study and share what to do next, but is your heart seeking the Lord for the right reasons?
What we write or share is an outpouring of our time at His feet and may we never allow anything to cause us to drift from the reason and joy of just ‘Being with the Lord and in the Word’.